I forgot I had a blog.
Since my last rambling, entirely pointless entry, I have published several more videos on YouTube. Here I shall discuss their content and why I made them and why you shouldn’t make them and what is in store for the future. Also some long-overdue corrections regarding the contents of my first post.
Michael Rosen is a funny man. I wanted to make more videos in the ‘ytp’ vein, where a brief Rosen skit preludes some unrelated banality for not really any kind of purpose, and so in June 2017 I elected to do just that.
ytp: solomon the carrot and coriander soup fan who read “the man who fed the cat” is 35 seconds long, and the initial vignette was in fact originally supposed to be about the eponymous soup fan, who read a picture book about a man who feeds a cat. It took so long to sentence-mix the title that I must have given up, and replaced the plot entirely with something conceived on the fly: our hero accepts a TV contest’s challenge to put a decisive, thermonuclear end to the Levantine conflicts of today (or a year ago), but gets distracted in the planning phase contemplating the difficulty in staying hydrated when you cannot trust your water provider not to be spiking the goods with fluoride, and then falls off entirely on a tangential celebration of his own comic genius. Then he becomes a clown and it all gets a bit exciting.
Great video. One of my favourites, for sure. Sentence mixing here is tighter than a saveloy in a maccherone. “It’s full of fluoride” could have come from the mouth of the man himself, if he were so bothered about passive dental protection.
The sounds at the end are three YouTube videos of ‘funny sound effects’ played over each other, as well as a good old circus tune and an almost unintelligible “hard cheese” from another Rosen poem.
Not long after — possibly on the same day — I made ytp: louise. Some elements from the original ytp: you tube poop resurface here: the Oddish for President zoom-in, the reversed music (in this case, I believe it’s the bridge from SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s Attack), the provided illustrations, and the usage of older, lower-quality poem videos (those with darker hair, grey borders and annoying reverberation).
The story, as ever, is easy to follow: our hero expresses remorse for somehow crossing his beloved Louise, and a desire to ‘rekindle our sordid immoral affair’ beneath a diplodocus statue at the Natural History Museum. Then, I think, we see the entire ‘THE HYPNOTISER’ poem at a very high speed, possibly reversed, and given all sorts of graphical treatment.
I love the “hot air” gag at the start.
My creative well dried up somewhat after banging out two works of art such as those in such a short time, but I was determined to keep up the pace. On the 19th of June, just two days after uploading louise, I made my cat died. It’s based on a true story, but that’s not my cat in the amusing centrepiece image. Nor is it my lament you are hearing, but Wario’s, from Mario Kart 64.
And just one day later (I appear to have been starting work on the next video as soon as I finished the last one), on the 20th of June, I uploaded TOP 5 TF2 WEAPON IDEAS, which I hope you don’t mind me saying has really pushed the bracket as far as TF2 content goes. It’s more the kind of intelligent satire I’m interested in than the tired lampoonings of 2015.
Set to the excellent, transcendental The Heavenly Gates by medieval folk duo VENEREUM ARVUM (a.k.a. RAPUNZEL AND SEDAYNE), I lay out five prospective weapon ideas for the greatest game of all time. No extraneous subtitles, no jokes to explain, no nothing. This video is far too long, and the content far too briefly on-screen, to encourage rewatching.
Idea #1 is BOOTIS, which is ALI BABA’S WEE BOOTIES with miniature HEAVY WEAPONS GUY heads on the toes. They provide delicious sandwiches.
Idea #2 is KAPOOTIS, where the HEAVY WEAPONS GUY simply becomes the DEMOMAN, while Idea #3 is a retread of Idea #1 – the SECOND BOOTIS, wherein the HEAVY WEAPONS GUY heads sit atop each constituent crep of the BOOTLEGGER, suggesting that the GUY himself lives inside them.
Idea #4, however, is EVERYTHING: an old picture I made when loadout.tf first came out in 2015 or so, with every item that existed at the time loaded onto the Scout. I put this on my Steam artwork page as “fourth loadout slot when” or something to that effect.
Finally, we come to Idea #5 a good three minutes in, just as the vocals begin. That is, we come to the numeral “5”. It takes the rest of the video for the idea to show itself; eventually, the ENGINEER WITH A DISPENSER FOR A LEG fades into view. I was worried that showing him without sufficient buildup might make viewers think I was showing off, or that I didn’t appreciate and revere the potential impact of such an idea on what we can all agree is a dying game.
Very fun video to make, not half because it was so simple. I definitely want to make more videos taking after it, if not in exactly the same style, as I feel I could really corner the market.
I didn’t realise just how prolific I was at this time, almost a year ago as of writing. On the same day as TOP 5 TF2 WEAPON IDEAS (20th June 2017), I put up richard sharmpfe, a 20-second descent into the static-y pores of Donald John Trump, 45th President of the United States of America, in whose dermal bog we unearth an absolute classic of TF2 cinéma (truktruk’s LOREBUSTERS: The Scout). There’s no deep meaning to this one; I wanted to mess around with Vegas’s sharpness VFX, I had LOREBUSTERS and the CSI: Miami opening taking up space on my hard drive (and had done since about 2012 for no real reason), and donald tump is funny.
At last I ran out of steam, and it wasn’t until August 5th, a month and a half later, that I uploaded le hospital, lol, something I made while quite drunk and listening to some pals discuss some topic I clearly thought was worth permanently enshrining. There’s the footage from the chat (edited so heavily it’s impossible to understand, which rather defeated the purpose but I suppose protected the privacy of my hapless friends), a pair of rotating Muselk epic hats, the original opening of Sailor Moon including TOEI logo, some Bowser sounds, and a tiny section of what I believe is a Michael Jackson song (could be mistaken). I’m led to assume by the title that they were talking about redward’s job at a hospital.
I had an idea for another ytp video brewing for ages. Season 7 of Game of Thrones had been airing, /tv/’s /got/ threads were experiencing a comic renaissance, and boarposting was taking the extremely small anonymous community by storm. I wrote a script for a Game of Thrones poop, far more ambitious than what I’d done before — a proper one with a story and everything — which would capitalise on the fresh new memes and perhaps establish my place in /tv/’s canon.
No such luck. I sat on the idea for so long that by the time I actually acquired the series and started work on ytp – on an open field, boarposting had unfortunately spread to (and been utterly ruined by) r/freefolk, and /got/ was banned for the offseason, and I lost interest. I put together 30 seconds of it, left it, then in November 2017 I picked it up again, determined to release it anyway, put together another 20 seconds, and uploaded most of the first scene, where Robert incurs Ned’s wrath for demanding a Dothraki invasion.
I did eventually decide, some time in 2018, to finish the damn thing off, and extended it by perhaps 30 seconds (wherein Ned incurs Robert’s wrath for some reason I’ve since forgotten) before my external hard drive failed and I lost everything. I still have the Game of Thrones collection, but all my YouTube folders were lost and I don’t know if I’ll ever remake on an open field. Shame, because the script was pretty rambunctious and would at least have made me laugh, but what are you going to do? (Back up my stuff, hopefully)
A couple of months passed before my latest video, epic – 2nd anniversary edition. Not much to say about this, really, despite its relative complexity compared to everything else I’ve made in the past year; I didn’t like some of the visuals used in the original epic video, so I decided to remake it. There are some brilliant gags (for my embryonic sensibilities at least), but a fair share of duds alongside, and I’m still unfortunately disappointed with how it turned out; there was a lot more I could have done, a lot of things I shouldn’t have done, and it may be that the song just isn’t funny enough to warrant all this effort irrespective of new ideas. If the stars ever align again and something as funny as “epic for my eyes” is ever recorded aloud, I’ll probably make a sequel; until then, I think I’m going to leave this genre, as I’ve left many others, dormant.
Quite peeved about losing all my video stuff. I can apparently redownload raws from YouTube, which is a relief, but the progress lost on on an open field quite stung me, and I’ve not been motivated to do anything videolike since the drive failed. I’m still keen to make more sensory-overlaod_edited videos, but they’ll require some legwork as I no longer have some of the sources I was using, like Wind Waker or the Harry Potter audiobooks (lost along with 90 gigabytes of music as well as the video stuff).
halfoween 2017/18, top 5 tftv posts of 2017, botkiller 3, new ytp probably all to come at some point before my death.
REDDO###### is long DEDDO#######. The work I was cutting out for myself was absolutely insane – learning to animate in SFM, learning several instruments, writing, animating, scoring and editing108 half-hour episodes – and besides, I’ve been poaching a lot of the stuff I did come up with for REDDO in another certain work, which I’ve been diligently working on every single day for months and months, and the first chapter of which I’m fairly confident will reach the public before 2019.
In addition to “W”, as I am coyly referring to the main, mammoth project for the time being, I’ve got a few more plates spinning, all the better to keep me occupied and sane. TF2G RPG has been revived for the hundredth time, and for the first time real effort is being put into pre-production (I’m composing hectic little tunes for it, for example, which you can find at https://soundcloud.com/user-918890791/). In fact, I’ll more than likely be putting RPG stuff on YouTube in the near future too.
As well as that, I’ve got an original (well, copyright-free) game idea that’s slowly brewing, codenamed ROBOTWAIFU, which takes place in a 2D platformy shooty puzzly plane and will thus require a mote more gamedev skill than TF2G RPG; and finally, I may be planning a little too far ahead but as part of the grand canon of “W” I’ve decided upon nine games (all conceivably possible on RPG Maker MV, though I’d prefer to use Adventure Game Studio for some) acting as supplementary side-stories and intermediary filler between (in three cases during) major story arcs. These are M&G, L&SatGDatGGatFSCatDSMatTMWGiatIoDatSSF, L(S)oD[H](W), SLWatSKitDBW(IOSHaS!), TADX, ONFW!YBZiM,aIAYF!, ABaCi:tDoEFG(atHIJoaKtLiMtaNaOP), ASDFG(ag):GGGfL, and GL,YMMW!YGLW?!(ARoAKLY). Each in a word: dungeons, dungeon, terrorists, murder, psyche, kidnapping, mysteries, skeletons, and swampland. Look forward.
I love shiting and pising